Bored To Death_A Vampire Thriller Read online

  It was the waiter from the restaurant.

  Lola looked at me, and I knew she was saying, “Oh, shit.” I didn’t need vampire communication for that.

  He bent down toward Lola and kissed her cheek, which she accepted graciously but with a cool air about her. I couldn’t remember what his name was, although I’m sure he had told us.

  I sent that over to Lola with a look, to see if she remembered his name and I found out that she was trying to do the same thing.

  Finally, I just gave up trying to look like I actually cared.

  “What was your name again?” I asked.

  He looked over at me, at first pleased that I was speaking to him (I could tell), and then a little offended that I didn’t remember his name from a few hours before. He hid it pretty well, but not well enough.

  “Uh, Matt. From the restaurant?”

  “Oh, right,” I said and sort of waved my hand in the air, “I know you’re from the restaurant. I just couldn’t remember your name.”

  He looked at me and was actually hurt. I was amused by how plainly he showed his feelings. This wasn’t just me picking things up intuitively from decades upon decades of observing people. Anyone could have seen this. I flinched a little and wasn’t sure why.

  Matt quickly recovered his composure and smiled, showing very straight, very white teeth.

  “You must have already had quite a night,” he said and motioned toward my drink. He saw that I was down to just the ice cubes and offered to buy me another one. Lola too.

  Matt got up and made his way to the bar. I could see several women in the crowd taking long looks at him. Hopefully he would get caught up with one of them and forget about our drinks. And us.

  Lola looked over at me and put her hands around her face.

  “Sorry,” she said, drawing out the word. “I forgot this was the place. I was barely paying attention when he said it. I had totally forgotten about him.”

  “We’ll get rid of him. Or he’ll get distracted by someone else,” I said, trying to sound upbeat, but I was irritated. Irritated at Matt for actually showing up, and irritated at Lola for making this mistake.

  I didn’t like being disturbed while hunting, and now I had to watch my mark and deal with Matt hanging around. I wouldn’t be able to stalk as well if I had to divide my attention, but I also didn’t have enough brain power available to figure out what to do with Matt.

  I didn’t like drawing any attention to myself that was out of the ordinary. Or being seen too much with my mark. I needed to remember that at the end of the night I would produce a dead body, and I still wanted to be able to hunt here in the future. I wasn’t ready to leave this city yet.

  It had been maybe ten minutes since Matt had gone to the bar, and I still had my eye on my mark, who still had the three girls with him. I started to think that maybe Matt really had gotten distracted and wouldn’t come back. Or better yet, had actually left the bar.

  My mark and his friends looked pretty comfortable in this place, the drinks in their hands half-full, so I didn’t think they’d be leaving anytime soon. I sat back with Lola and chatted.

  I scanned the crowd, between keeping my eye on my target, and was pleased to find I could not see Matt anywhere. I began to relax as I figured he had probably just moved on.

  “Here you go.”

  A large hand appeared in my vision, coming from over my shoulder, and pushed a glass of bourbon into my hand. I sighed when Matt walked around from behind me and handed Lola her glass of wine.

  He sat down between us with a beer and settled in. This was going to be a long night.

  He chatted up Lola for a while, and I was completely silent, watching the crowd, and keeping my target in sight.

  One of his new female friends was beginning to get awfully touchy, and I could see that she was in first place among her friends in the competition for his attention. She would be the one he picked at the end of the night. I was now sure of that. And I would steal him right out from under her nose. This was shaping up to be a good game.

  “Hello? You with us?”

  I looked over at Matt, who apparently had started speaking to me without my knowledge, and watched as he waved his hand in front of my face.

  “I said, what’s your name? I don’t think you ever said what it was.”

  “Oh,” I said, bringing my attention away from the crowd and back to our little group. “Victoria.”

  “That’s a lot of syllables,” Matt said and smiled his toothy smile. “Are you a Vicki?”

  “No,” I said, without a smile. “Lola calls me Vic. You can call me that if you want.”

  “Vic, huh? Vic is the name of my car guy. Might take me a little while to get used to calling you that. Vic is nowhere near as pretty.”

  I pitied Matt in that moment. Trying to be slick, not knowing how close he was to a monster.

  “I’m sure you’ll get used to it,” I said and smiled in the meanest way I could.

  “I’m sure I will,” Matt said, and his voice got just the slightest bit huskier as he said it. This poor fool.

  Here I was in a bar, stalking a man-container full of blood, and the one in front of me just couldn’t leave well enough alone. I felt like a lioness who went out to hunt gazelle, only to find one hopping straight into her mouth. Made me downright angry.

  I turned my head just as my target went back to the bar for a round of drinks, and saw that his friend, the one Lola had her eye on, was walking toward us. Well, not toward us exactly, but in our direction.

  I realized the bathroom must be behind us somewhere, and I turned my head around to confirm. I was correct.

  Lola had picked him up in her vision, and as soon as she looked at him directly, he made eye contact with her and smiled.

  He slowed down and looked like he was going to walk up to her, but instead he just sort of smiled and kept walking past us, all the while looking at her.

  “Looks like you just made a friend,” Matt said. He’d been paying more attention than I realized.

  Lola and I looked at each other, and I knew that now was the time. For her at least.

  Usually, I went first and she followed, but sometimes it just worked out the other way around. I’m not used to being a follower, so I’m always a little uncomfortable when this happens. But when the perfect moment strikes, you can’t ignore it, and this was downright perfect.

  I watched as a few minutes later the guy walked back toward us on his way to the bar, his eyes on Lola the whole time. Once again he looked like he might actually stop and talk to her, but then his gait picked up again. Lola reached out her arm to stop him as he passed. He looked like he had died and gone to heaven. The irony.

  I couldn’t hear what she said to him, her hand still on his arm, but his body language indicated extreme interest. I knew Lola would have no problems from here.

  They talked for a few minutes and then he motioned over toward the bar where my mark and his girls were. Lola got up to go with him. She looked over at me and didn’t communicate anything directly, but, then again, she didn’t have to.

  I kept my eyes on the two of them as they walked toward the bar, and then watched as Lola was introduced to my mark, who appraised her in a way that made his number one jealous. She didn’t protest or anything, but it was clear from the expression on her face that she wasn’t pleased with Lola’s intrusion.

  “You like that guy over there?” Matt asked, and I suddenly remembered that he was still sitting there.

  “Who?” I said, wondering if he was really that perceptive as to know who I was watching.

  “The guy by the bar. The friend of the guy who just picked your friend up.”

  He was perceptive. I was more impressed than I wanted to be. I decided to play along.

  “Yeah, I do like him. I’ve been watching him all night. In fact,” I stopped here and leaned in toward Matt, “if you want to know a secret, I actually followed him here from another bar.”

  “Really
? Why don’t you just go up and talk to him? He’d drop those other girls in a second if you went up to him.”

  Apparently, Matt was going to play along too.

  “Well, I’ll tell you another secret,” I said, feeling really bold now. I leaned in toward Matt again, but this time I put my mouth right up near his ear so he could feel my breath on him. I whispered my next sentence. “I’m going to kill him.”

  A little shudder went through Matt’s body and I wasn’t sure whether it was due to my words or to how close I was to him. He hesitated for a couple of seconds and then began playing along again.

  “How’re you going to do it? Death by orgasm?” He was purposefully being suggestive, teasing me, but at the same time genuinely fearful.

  “I’m going to drain all the blood from his body,” I said, this time saying it loudly between us, where anyone could have heard. I smiled. I was starting to have fun with Matt.

  “You watch too many movies,” he said and smiled, the fear still visible on his face.

  “I know,” I said and turned my vision back to my mark, not caring that I was sitting there with Matt.

  “Seriously, though, I’m surprised. That guy looks like a douche.”

  “He probably is,” I said, not taking my eyes off my target.

  “So you’re saying you like assholes?”

  I turned to him and looked him right in the eyes.

  “Yeah.”

  We sat there for a few minutes, and at one point I really thought he was going to get up and leave, but then he started talking again.

  “Do you think I’m an asshole?”

  I looked over at him and made a show of looking him up and down.

  “No. Do you think you’re an asshole?”

  “No,” he said and shook his head so that his hair moved with it. He was being genuine.

  “Do you want to help me?” I asked.

  “Help you?”

  “Yeah. Help me get my target.”

  I was just being mean now. Trying anything to get him to go away. I figured if he wanted to keep hanging out, he should make himself useful. And if he left, so what.

  “You want me to help you get with that guy? The douche?”

  “Yeah. I told you. I need to feed on his blood.”

  “Oh, so you’re a vampire,” Matt said and smiled like I had just been teasing him all this time.

  “Yes, obviously,” I said. “Wasn’t that clear when I said I wanted to drain his body of all of his blood?”

  “Wait,” he said, “let me see your teeth.”

  I showed him, and it was obvious he was looking for fangs. Fangs were only visible right as you were about to feed and during, of course.

  “You don’t have fangs.”

  “No, they only come out when I’m about to bite someone.”

  “Hmmm,” he said and then leaned back in his seat. I knew he was thinking about all the things he knew about vampires.

  “Well, it was still a little bit light out when you came into the restaurant earlier. I thought vampires couldn’t go in the light.”

  At least he was getting closer, I thought.

  “We’ve got some leeway. About ten minutes before we really feel the effects.”

  Matt crossed his arms and squinted his eyes as he tried to think of more vampire facts.

  “Wait,” he said and actually leaned forward and snapped his fingers as if a thousand light bulbs had just gone off in his head. “Your dinner. The chicken. I know it had garlic in it.”

  I almost laughed out loud. Where on earth the idea that vampires couldn’t stand garlic had come from was beyond me. Believe me, we were perfectly fine with it. I personally loved it. That was one of the strangest ideas that humans had about vampires.

  “That’s bullshit,” I said, “vampires are perfectly fine with garlic despite what you may have heard.”

  “Changing the rules for yourself, huh?”

  “I’m not changing any rules. That garlic thing is all made up. I don’t know where it ever came from.”

  He sat back again, his eyes not as squinty as they were, and, finally, instead of saying something reached out and touched my arm. His hand was deliciously warm.

  “You are a little cold,” he said, and his grip lingered longer than I would have expected it to.

  “Do you believe me now?”

  “Yeah, all right. I believe you.”

  Matt must have really liked games because he was certainly enjoying himself playing this one. Of course, he probably thought this was some kind of elaborate foreplay. I’d continue letting him think that.

  “Wait—one more thing. How old are you?” he asked.

  “Three hundred and fourteen.”

  “Funny. You don’t look a day over twenty-two.”

  “It’s the moisturizer I use.”

  Matt threw his head back and laughed, and I found myself surprised that I had just made a joke. It was funny, though.

  “Okay,” said Matt, “what do we do?”

  “We wait.”

  The next twenty minutes or so, Matt and I chatted. I was getting more and more used to his presence, and less and less irritated.

  Since I had revealed myself to him, I oddly felt more comfortable, even if he thought it was just a joke. I had never done that before.

  Lola had whatever-his-name-was practically wrapped around her at this point. Over the years, while watching Lola work, there was always this point when I noticed the target’s brain seemed to go hazy and he was practically begging to die. Not that he knew that’s what he was begging for, but it was this look that came from behind his eyes. Like they were empty and wanted to be filled. What they never understood was that they were filled now, yet would soon be empty.

  Lola looked over at me for just the briefest second, and I realized that she would need to leave with her target now. It was the right time. Usually this didn’t happen so fast, and for a moment I felt a little disoriented.

  She was out the door with him before I knew it, and I felt the pang of envy I always felt when she got to feed first.

  I looked at my target who was taking the last sip of his drink and rounding up the girls who had been following him around all night. I wondered if he would go to a new bar or was getting ready to go home. I started to worry that I had missed my chance.

  Dammit. Matt was distracting me.

  My target began walking toward the exit, and I started to panic. Nothing felt right to me about this. Something was off.

  “I’ve got to go.” I stood up abruptly, my jovial tone long gone. “Are you coming with me?”

  Why did I ask that?

  I wasn’t sure. Matt’s presence was incensing me, and yet I had gotten used to him.

  Matt was taken aback at my tone, yet he didn’t look at me angrily as he answered that, sure, he would come with me.

  I knew he wanted to come with me. No matter how mean or abrupt I was. Even if I put a collar and leash on him and made him come, he wouldn’t have protested. Maybe that’s what made me angry. But maybe that’s why I asked him to come with me too.

  Matt got to his feet a little unsteadily. Whether that was due to the alcohol or in reaction to me, I wasn’t sure. But I did know he was in a hurry to follow me.

  I didn’t say another word, just walked out the door and kept a close eye on my mark, who was also a little unsteady on his feet now as he walked down the street.

  That disappointed me, and the feeling like none of this was going the way it should came back to me in full force.

  You see, when a person has had too much to drink, their blood takes on a rancid quality. It’ll do the job, but it’s not pleasant. I’ll avoid feeding on someone who’s wasted. That’s why hunting under these conditions takes so much finesse. You want him to have had a few drinks, but not so many his blood has been ruined. I was beginning to worry that my target had already had too much.

  Matt followed behind me, strangely at a distance. When I turned my head and saw him walkin
g, I realized his unsteadiness of a few minutes ago must have been due to his reaction to me because he looked totally fine out here.

  I was curious as to why he wouldn’t walk beside me, not that I wanted him to. It was like we were all stalking each other. Except that the stalking was known and consensual between Matt and me. This night was getting weirder and weirder.

  My mark turned into another bar, and I knew right then that this would be the last one of the night.

  I went in and Matt followed a couple of seconds behind me. This place was much quieter than the last, but also much, much darker.

  My memory of this last bar is for some reason exceptionally hazy, except for the dark and the thickness of the air inside. It was as if breathing took that much more effort in here.

  I watched as my mark drank. And then drank some more.

  Matt got up to get us both drinks, and soon enough I sent him back up to the bar to get me another one. He came back with my drink and a water.

  “Why do I get the feeling you could drink me under the table?” he asked.

  “Because I can,” I answered, not taking my eyes off my target. “Vampires don’t get drunk.”

  “This is an odd night,” Matt said, sipping his water, but not seeming to direct his comment at anyone. Not even himself.

  I agreed with him but didn’t respond.

  The truth was starting to hit me, though I didn’t want to believe it. My mark was too drunk.

  He was too drunk for me, and frankly, he was even too drunk for the girls in front of him, who I sensed were beginning to get bored with him.

  My thoughts were confirmed when the three of them left the bar, leaving my target sitting on a barstool, his head drooping over his drink.

  Fuck.

  I sat there for a couple of minutes, wondering how I could have been so wrong. Usually, I know the ones that will be wasted at the end of the night. I had overestimated how interested my mark was in those girls. I thought for sure that he’d be fine.

  Finally, even he left the bar, swaying on his feet. He exited into the night and I never saw him again.

  I wasn’t desperate to feed, but I was pretty hungry. I started to think of a contingency plan, surveying the crowd, but it was no use. Nothing felt right to me. It was too late now.